Best and Worst NBA Nicknames

Nicknames are fun. Back in high school my buddies and I came up with nicknames for everyone on our basketball team. Some of them hated their nicknames at first, but if you call someone something for long enough, for some reason they start to love it. In my experience, anyway. Some of the nicknames we came up with included: Big Dumb Cody (he resented it at first, but eventually owned it), Goose, Fluff, Reverend (Rev for short), Smyrna, Salty Dog, Dearest, Moose, Tubbs, and K-Poo to name just a few.

One of the funnier things about nicknames is that when someone tries to come up with their own nickname, it never sticks! I remember a kid who was a couple years older than me tried to get everyone to call him T-Mac. Of course no one did, because that's ridiculous. For one thing, his initials were SP, and for another he was short and white.

Anyways, what are some of the best (and worst) nicknames in NBA history?

Best nicknames, in no particular order:

Tyrone 'Muggsy' Bogues

In case you're completely unfamiliar with NBA history, Muggsy is the short guy in the picture above. But seriously, where did the name Muggsy come from?! Who in the world looked at him and was like, "He looks like a Muggsy"? But it stuck, and now it's awesome

Vince 'Vinsanity' Carter

Everyone loves Vince Carter. His dunks were 'Vinsane.'

Anthony 'Brow' Davis

 

Check out that brow, dude. Most people are embarrassed by unibrows, and you'd think that Davis would be extra self-conscious about it because he's on national television all the time. Also, he has the cash to get Laser Hair Removal. BUT HE OWNS THE BROW! What a guy.

Darryl 'Chocolate Thunder' Dawkins

Perhaps best known for breaking backboards, Darryl Dawkins was ahead of his time as far as dunking goes. He's the reason that breakaway rims were invented. 'Chocolate Thunder' is a pretty good description of his style of play, I think.

Paul 'PG-13' George

It's hard to come up with a more perfect nickname. His initials are PG, his number is 13, and some of his content may not be approved for children under the age of 13.

Andrei 'AK-47' Kirilenko

If there is a nickname more perfect than PG-13, then it's definitely AK-47. His initials are AK, his number is 47, and an AK-47 is a Russian gun. Kirilenko is Russian. So perfect.

Rudy 'The Stifle Tower' Gobert

The name Stifle Tower would be appropriate just because of his blocking ability, but the fact that Gobert is French makes the nickname that much more fitting.

Earvin 'Magic' Johnson 

You know you've got a good nickname when people think your nickname is actually your real name. You call him Earvin Johnson and no one knows who the heck you're talking about, but you call him Magic Johnson and everyone knows.

Shaquille 'Shaq', 'Shaq Daddy', 'Shaq Fu', 'Diesel', 'The Big Aristotle', 'Superman', 'MDE' (Most Dominant Ever), 'The Big Maravich', 'The Big Fella', 'The Big Shaqtus', 'The Big Cordially', 'Big Shamrock', 'O'Nealovic', 'Shaqovic', 'Shaq Attack', 'Saškuille', 'Wilt Chamberneezy' O'neal

Shaq has so many nicknames that it's almost annoying. Almost. My personal favorites are 'The Big Shaqtus' (when he played in Phoenix), 'The Big Shamrock' (when he was a Celtic), and 'The Big Aristotle' (after he got his PhD).

David 'The Admiral' Robinson

Wow. Look at those arms. 'The Admiral' is a great nickname not only because he's freaking intimidating, but also because he served in the Navy.

Worst nicknames, in no particular order:

Paul 'The Truth' Pierce

The Truth? What the heck does that even mean? Paul Pierce poops his pants, and that's the truth.

Allen 'The Answer' Iverson

If Allen Iverson is the answer, then what was the question? "Should we practice tonight?" 

Tim 'The Big Fundamental' Duncan

Wow. If someone tried to call me the big fundamental, I'd smack them upside the head. Might as well call him 'The Big Boring.'

Kobe 'The Black Mamba' Bryant

Remember how I said that nicknames suck if a person gives it to himself? Well, here's Kobe Bryant, giving himself a crappy nickname. 'Black Mamba' might be a cool nickname if the snake is the first thing I think of when I hear 'mamba'. Instead, I think of a bad dance move.

Karl 'The Mailman' Malone

Listen, I love Karl Malone. But can you think of anything less intimidating than 'The Mailman'? Me neither.

Kenyon 'K-Mart' Martin

Lol. Even though the nickname fits his real name very well, who wants to be a trashy version of Wal-Mart?

Nick 'Swaggy P' Young

So Nick...are you a rapper? No? Are you a male prostitute? No? Hmm...what the heck does swaggy P even mean? There's not even a P in your name!

Well, there you go. Some really good nicknames out there. Some really, really dumb ones, too.